Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
When are your genitals available?
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
