I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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