there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
