He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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