i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize