Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
