: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
