i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
