My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
