my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
