loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
