i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
We had to coat check the pizza.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
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