okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
