So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
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