i think my mom watched the whole time
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Randomize
