It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize