I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
