i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize