If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
