They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
