i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
