didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
