U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
