ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
