Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Randomize
