what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
