so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize