operation harelip BJ is a go
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I love you. Go after that dick
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
