Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
