girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
