You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
