in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
