but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
