oh god the rape fog is back!
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
