She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize