problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I smell stomach acid.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Randomize
