Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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