I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
