maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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