This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
