I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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