wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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