Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
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