Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
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