it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
