apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
