When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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