i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
