Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
