haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Randomize
