4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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