I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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