when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
