I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
