Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
