I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
