kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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