dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
