What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
he quoted the bible to break up with me
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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