i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
