What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Randomize
