Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize